Straight Arrow Mattis

Washington journalists are frustrated, disappointed — and even angry! “Mad Dog” General James Mattis stubbornly refuses to dish on his former boss, “Hairspray Hurricane” President Donald J. Trump. On the eve of September 11th, the former secretary of defense is peddling a new memoir tantalizing titled: “Call Sign Chaos: Learning to Lead.” Among his battlefield exploits and Washington wars, Mattis reveals that, “I had no choice but to leave” the Trump White House. He quit after Trump announced his intention to withdraw US troops from Syria, a move Mattis hotly opposed.

But eager Trump bashers will be sorely disappointed by Mattis’ tell-not. Reportedly, any mentions of Trump, who he calls “an unusual president,” stop after page two. The war hero insists that, “Where I come from, first of all, you ride for the brand. The brand is the US Constitution.”

But the brand on the Potomac is conflict and confrontation. CBS news anchor Margaret Brennan presses Mattis to blame Trump… for something, anything! The instant armchair general pleads with the four star to “remind people why there needs to be a continued presence” in Afghanistan.

The New Yorker magazine complains that Mattis is “nowhere at all” when it comes to slamming their presidential bete orange. The only chaos Mattis is willing to sow is a “scathing” critique of former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush. Mattis blasts Obama for his “general lack of strategic thinking,” bluntly confessing, “We did not have a strategy. It’s that simple.”

Will it be that simple for the Washington swamp that desperately wants a Trump-sized mud fight?

Simple answer: No. Mattis firmly believes: “When a general retires their uniform, they need to retire their tongue.”

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